DGM-
While I agree it might be rough in theory to paint those, I can kind of see your wife's point in that everything is kind of dark and intense, in a way.
They make a removable wallpaper, and one idea would be to try some of that in the backsplash areas under the cabinets, to get an idea of what new backsplash you might want.
You could also add under cabinet lighting to brighten things up, and even under the floor cabinets, as well.
(Just google under cabinet lighting)
Even new countertops of a color more her liking.
Thus instead of the cabinets being the lightest of a dark area, they become the darkest of a light area.
My wife likes to watch the home improvement shows, flippers, etc., and gets wild ideas. She paints the living room and dining room about every year and a half. We have paint samples on the dining room table right now
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Good luck with your choices...we all have hobbies, what the hell, right?